Broken Sea Glass

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Shot down in midair

Cocking the gun
aiming its barrel
its a new way to shun
hark thy harral

Four verses and it says enough to show how I am feeling right now. Seriously, things are not going well right now.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Moderate brain rot

Well, for the past couple of days when I watch a movie I start getting into this mode of writing. And it lasts for five minutes after the movie before I hit the floor dead tired of thinking so hard. Yeh see, I really want to write a book, but I am having a hard time of what I could write about. I want somethin people would want to read, but unique from all the other novels. Well, my favorite author is Dean Koontz, and I have been hoping to be successful like him. His books, a majority of the ones I have read, are really awsome. So I started thinking that this whole planning a book out isn't working for me. So I started remembering some of the dreams I have had, both the scary and exciting ones. Only I don't know how to plan them out and get them all ready into writing out form. Thats when I saw this movie, Halflight, a confusing and perplexifying movie indeed. But the main charactor is a writer, and how she does it is she writes down what happens in each chapter on flashcards and puts them in a collum as she writes, so she can look at them for referance. Seems like a good idea. So I am thinking maybe I should try that, takes a while, but writers block takes longer, haha. I have been having some crazy dreams today, even had one during my nap today. Only I don't like that one, got me all depressed, and when I woke up I couldn't tell from reality and my dream. Wasn't sure if what I drempt was real or not. Kind of funny huh? But it also screws me up in this head off mine. I have been doing a lot of thinking, more then usual. Things comming up I have long forgot, thats the beauty of forgetting, its one less thing to take in. Well, I think my eyes have been opening a bit more then I am used to. Usually I am a stubborn hornet, taking in new information is not my preference, especially when I disagree with it. Well, I have feeling a bit smothered lately, like some is always breathing down my neck, watching everything I am doing, critisizing by the pound. But all this writing in my blog is making me pause and daze out for a few minutes to think of something else, thats usually how I end up getting in a writing mood. So maybe I will write something up real quick. New. I have noticed I always write when I am in a bummer mode. What a motivation huh? haha.

A soft pounding ran through his vains, his fingertips felt the beat of drastic measures. His hands shook for every breath cut short, sweat dripped from his brow with autumn colors. For every bloody boot that swept forward, two clean polished shoes stammered back. Amongst the battle field are two types of soldiers, a warrior and one a coward hiding behind the warriors. The Warrior looked at the weasle, the true skum of the wild. He spat at the cowards shined shoes, and grunted with disaproval.
And with a inward turn of his brow, and an ashamed smooth voice the warrior said, " And so the worlds of two lives come apart, but now one of them shall be pieced together while the other world drowns in its greed." With those words that spoke just above a whisper, the man threw himself forward with his sword in both hands ready to end the final unneeded second world.".......

To Be Continued :)

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Casper Friendly

Ok, so the name has no meaning, but it just came to me yeh know? I guess Jeremiah is scheduled with a sergant to have a meeting on the ninteenth of April, so that is pretty awsome. He purpously killed his Geo, so now he is without a car. If you can keep is choices in your prayers we will all be very grateful. I have been feeling really good lately, have had time to relax and do my thang as spring break comes to an end. the Northern Ireland trip doesn't look too promising but I have been raising the money through babysitting and spair cash I can throw together. I am really excited about it though, can't wait to actually go out there and do something volenteraly(sp). I was thinking tonight during youth about maybe joining their leadership team, I really want the youth to be excited about coming on Sundays and Wednesdays. They seem to bland and uninterested. I want to change that, drastically. Well, I need to get ready for bed, only nine and I feel a buzz of tiredness comin'. Oh, and Superman hasen't called, writen or anything! Just want everyone to know that so you can get him to call this lonesome sista' of his. I am stuck with step sisters everywhere, and I tell yeh what, I am not a fan of sisters. They don't like sports, games, out door activities. Its grusome. And last time I checked my soon to be eight year old stepsister has a cell phone. Gag me in all my organs because I am feeling the urge to chuck the electronic divice out the window. Yelp!
Ok, have to go, peace

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Devil cat!

Arg! so I have been trying to get back my cat cuddles from my dads sp they wont have to deal with her scratching anymore. So I payed twenty bucks for these softpaws things, they are like caps for the nails that last 4 to 6 weeks. Well, I have a few sets that will last four to six months. Well, I haden't seen her since the begining of December, so I knew she wouldn't be happy that I came back to take her and be rid of her claws. Well, i got the spupid things on her around fivish yesterday, and I brought her back to my place in gilbert, but she has to stay in my room. She hasen't stopped hissing at me since yesterday, and its driving me nuts. She has been hiding in my closet and just growling and hissing at me. Its driving me nuts. the only thing I am afraid of is her fangs, I wish I put those things on her fangs, just messing. The only reason why I wanted that cat back in because I have had her since my parents divorce, and I couldn't just let her go to any old family, or put in the pound. so over the course of two years I have found people that were so nice enough to take her in while I come in and feed her and what not. Now that heathin cat is so pissed at me that she wouldn't come out of the closet, not even to eat! So I finally grabbed her by the back of the neck while she tried to claw me with the claws she doesn't have anymore, and I kind of tossed her away from me so she wouldn't grab hold of me with her fangs and kick me with her still existant hind claws. Oh she is getting me so fired up, waking me up in the middle of the night just hissing at me. I am ready to throw her out in the rain. But I will wait and see how long it will take for her to allow me to pet her. EeK!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Up date

The past couple of weeks have been really rough for me, bot physically and mentally. A lot of issues from years a go keep coming back. So Last Friday I told myself I was fed up with it, all of it. So when I went to bed, I just laid there with the lights off, staring off into nowhere, right through the cieling. I went on and on for about and hour and a half with questions and answers, trying to get one particular issue in my head to go a way. Well, I worked for the night, all that emotinal type of stuff made me exhausted. So when I crashed, it was like going ninty ont he free way and hitting a 10 ft deep brick wall. Automatic contact, out like a light. Just gone. Psh, then Saturday rolls around, I'm feeling good, then someone starts bring up things I didn't want to hear. And then how that person was feeling, solving the issue and everything. Well, the choices that person will choose will indeed impact me, just can't say that persons name so I have to feel ocward and call that person that person. How annoying. People have been bashing me in that wall over and over again this week, and its not easy just telling them to shut up and leave me be. No, they have to fight back and kill me to win.
Oh, and lastnight at youth, this dream interpriter dude came. People were telling his their dreams and he would give what seemed like the exact same answer to all of them. I was going to tell him one of my dreams, but they were all back when I was 8 and 13. And then there was one I had lastweek about being in a video game. Oh my gosh! It was awsome! The best game ever for the xbox, so sweet. Dealing with seemingly invincable robots, they shoot or hit us once and we're down, but it takes an army to get him. Oh man, it was sweet. I got to use a rocket launcher, .45 calliber pistal, two shotguns with slugs not buckshots, a few semiauto. Oh oh oh, and an urbin sniper, eighteen inch barrol cut down to 14 so we could swing them across our shouldiers without any complications. Ahh, the wonders of gun power and robots. Arg, but I don't think the guy would have had a spiritualanswer for my dream. But who knows, he was able to understand some odd ones.
A few times lastnight I doubted his abilities ofr some of the night. He reminded me of one of the guys on TBN, answers for everything, and pushing you to the floor is Gods impact. It was getting me angry though. I believe God gives us most dreams, but I don't believe every dream has a message. Just lke everything I say, not all of it has to make sense in order to be here. I don't know, thats just my opinion.
Have to take a nap, been a long week and thensome.